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Oct. 28th, 2007

Normal Flutterby Wings

Song - Figured It Out

It happened again, I didn't intend to write this - but for some reason it just came out. The inspiration for this was

kipli 's absolutely beautiful story "His Schoolboy Crush". And it's obviously JD's POV.

Figured It Out

You use your words to hurt me
But I see the look in your eyes
When you think I don't notice
So I know they're all just lies -

You use to protect yourself from the world outside
To save your heart and your God damn pride
So you built this hole, just some place to hide
From the feelings you have - inside.

But I know how you feel now
I've finally figured it out
Why you've tormented me forever
What this has all been about.

You're so in love with me
That you've got this all backwards
You yell, and scream, and tease me
Instead of saying one word.

But it's even worse for me
Because I feel the same
But I'm too afraid to confront you
When you can't even say my name. 

So, we're here in denial
Pretending that this doesn't exist
And, you live your life with her
When I'm the one you want to kiss.

But I know how you feel now
I've finally figured it out
Why you've tormented me forever
What this has all been about.

You're so in love with me
That you've got this all backwards
You yell, and scream, and tease me
Instead of saying one word.

 

Oct. 27th, 2007

Aqua Jellybean Wing

Song - It's All My Fault

Ok, so I didn't expect it to happen but I wrote a Darcy/Wickham song (a little something to go with my very short fic). Anyway, I quite enjoyed writting it and I really like this one (although, admittedly "pine" is the worst rhyme I've ever come up with). I hope you enjoy it.


It's All My Fault

I know why
I had to push you away
I know why
You think that I have betrayed you.

I know why
My world is permanently grey
I know why
I couldn't make myself stay with you.

It's all my fault
For falling in love with you
It's all my fault
For not knowing what to do.

It's all my fault
For all the pain that I put you through
It's all my fault
Because I never knew...

That it was you
All this time
Who stole my heart
Oh, it's no longer mine

Oh, how did I not
See the signs?
'Cause it's for you
Now that I pine.

I know why
I had to push you away
I know why
You think that I have betrayed you.

I know why
My world is permanently grey
I know why
I couldn't make myself stay with you.

It's all my fault
For falling in love with you
It's all my fault
For not knowing what to do.

It's all my fault
For all the pain that I put you through
It's all my fault
Because I never knew.

It's all my fault
For falling in love with you
It's all my fault
For not knowing what to do.

It's all my fault
For all the pain that I put you through
It's all my fault
Because I never knew.

It's all my fault
Because I never knew
It's all my fault
Because I never knew.

Oct. 25th, 2007

fairy

Fic - Truth Discovered

Title: Truth Discovered
Fandom: Pride and Prejudice
Pairing: Darcy/Wickham
Rating: Pg
Length: 371
Summary: After reading P & P for what was like the 10th time (even though I love the book) my slash brain refused to cooperate and I started to question the whole Darcy/Wickham relationship - and this is the result. It's really just a short bit of prose.


Oct. 16th, 2007

Purple Moth Wings

My Artwork

Hey when I posted my Johnny/Walt sketch on deviantart I enjoyed it so much that I added some other things I've done and will hopefully keep adding my future artwork as well. 

If you're interested my deviantart page is: 

link
Tags:

Oct. 10th, 2007

Pink Peacock Wing

Johnny/Walt Sketch

Hey. This is an apology gift to ladylarabee  for not finishing my fic when I said I would (weird week - I'll try to finish it before the heat kills me).  Anyway, I hope you like it (hopefully next time I'll capture them better).

The Apology

ps. If you can't see it properly, you just have to click "full view" at the top of the page.
 

Sep. 29th, 2007

Shadow Star Wings

Fic - His Hands

Title: His Hands
Pairing: Johnny/Walt (The Dead Zone)
Series: Forbidden Fantasies
Rating: NC 17
Length: 1,021 words
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Dead Zone or it’s characters (but in my sick and twisted head they’re all mine – hahahaha!). And although I’m broke I’m not making money off of this (but a girl can dream). 
Summary: PWP (but with a little substance)
Author’s Notes: I shouldn’t be allowed to have an imagination, because this is what happens when I use it. Be Warned.
Beta: lj ladylarabee (who I want to thank for being a constant inspiration and a kind supportive listener).



Sep. 15th, 2007

Blue Flutterby Wing

Song - Hypocrite

Ok. So I got angry/pissed again and wrote half of this song. I wasn't going to post it but then I vented again and had enough anger to complete the rest. Be warned that it is more graphic than I would have wanted for any other song but I'm very pissed off right now so I don't care. I just wantred this to come out as angry/crazy as I'm feeling (hope I don't hate it later - oh well).

Hypocrite

Oh, you're such a liar - you're such a hypocrite
How'd I not see this before - that you're so full of it?
Oh, you're a liar - a fucking hypocrite
How'd I not see that you're so full of it?

And, how do we stay with each other,
When you say one thing and do another?
When are you ever what you seem?
Tell me baby - is this just some sick twisted dream?

'Cause you make me hate you - hate you with a passion
Wanna scream the house down - but that never happens
You're the only one who can make me go insane
Oh, when will this shit ever change?

Oh, how can I hate you but love you but hate you
All at the same damn time?
Oh, how can I think that this is normal
When I'm obviously out of my mind?

And, how do I put up with this?
You - treating me like I don't exist
Unless it's something to do with you
Heaven forbid if it involves me too.

'Cause you make me hate you - hate you with a passion
Wanna scream the house down - but that never happens
You're the only one who can make me go insane
Oh, when will this shit ever change?

Oh, you're the liar, you're a fucking hypocrite
But now that I know that you're just so full of it
I'd watch my back if I were you
Oh baby - just wait 'til I get through with you.

Sep. 12th, 2007

fairy

Song - What Has Become Of Me?

Yes, it happen again. I don't know what it is with me and a need to vent becoming inspiration for poetry/songs. I must have issues. Anywho, I think this is one of the most personal things I've ever written.

What has become of me?

Oh, what has become of me?
Why am I not who I want to be?
When did my dreams begin to fall?
When did I stop to care at all?

That this is my world come crashing down
That my soul's nowhere to be found
Oh, why can't I take any risks
Oh, how did it ever come to this?

When it's fine to be alone
Never got out, just stay at home
Become so unsure of everything
So afraid of what life can bring.

Oh, what has become of me?
Why am I not who I want to be?
When did my dreams begin to fall?
When did I stop to care at all?

And, you'll never understand what I've become
Never ever thought that you'd be the one
To make me want to stay the way I am
Oh, when did my life become this sham?

Now I lie to myself everyday
Pretending that this will be okay
But I know that it's not the truth
If I never try - then what's the use (of it all)?

Oh, what has become of me?
Why am I not who I want to be?
When did my dreams begin to fall?
When did I stop to care at all? - at all?

At all? At all? At all? At all?
If I never try, never try 
Then what's the use - of it all?
Oh, what's the use of it all?

Oh, what has become of me?
Why am I not who I want to be?
When did my dreams begin to fall?
When did I stop to care at all? - at all?
 

Sep. 10th, 2007

Yellow Flutterby Wings

Song - She Doesn't Know

Ok. So I was emailing 

ladylarabee again, telling her that I wanted to write another Johnny/Walt song eventually but didn't know about what, when I came up with a wicked idea (ironic, or what?). I really wanted to do a Walt POV one and I wanted to write one about his secret infatuation for Johnny (I swear I don't ever want to write a happy song - torture is just way to easy, and fun) that Sarah knows absolutely nothing about. I really liked the idea that because Walt is such a traditional, up-standing man that he wouldn't leave Sarah becuase of these feelings, or even tell her them (for obvious twisted reasons - aren't they the funnest?). The idea that "she doesn't know" just jumped out at me and I love it. If you can believe it, there was only supposed to be one chorus but I liked each one I wrote so much that I went unconventional and I included them all (but I think it still works, and hopefully flows successfully). Again, if you really wanted to read it that way - it can also be read as a Johnny POV song. Anyway, I like it.

Dedicated to ladylarabee again because if feedback is love, then inspiration from feedback is a chocolate cupcake, with chocolate icing, and chocolate sprinkles on top! 

She Doesn't Know

I've tried and tried to remember when this feeling started
When my chest would ache, whenever we were parted
It's when first I realised that my heart was chained to you
But if I'm with her, then what - what can I do?

She doesn't know - that you're the reason for my lies
She doesn't know - that it's of you that I fantasize
She doesn't know - what you mean to my life
She doesn't know - Oh, She doesn't know.

I hate that she's the reason why you met me
And, that with all my heartache - you still can't see
You're the only thing in this world worth fighting for
And, even with all this pain - I can't help to want more (of you).

She doesn't know - that it's you in my dreams at night
She doesn't know - that in my heart this feels right
She doesn't know - it's because of you that we fight
She doesn't know - Oh, She doesn't know.

But it's when I'm with you - I don't know how to say
You mean everything - when you just turn away
Oh, you have no idea how real this is to me
But I'm with her and I can't get myself free - no.

She doesn't know - that you're the one I think about
She doesn't know - that of this love I have no doubt
She doesn't know - that you're the one I can't live without
She doesn't know - Oh, She doesn't know.

 

Sep. 1st, 2007

Purple Peacock Wing

Song - See This Coming

 
Ok. So I've decided to write a fic of Johnny/Walt from The Dead Zone. I think it's because there are so few Dead Zone fics out there that I am a little less intimidated to be actually able to write something without feeling like it's going to become lost in the mass of fic. I really just want to see if I'm able to do it with even just a small amount of success.  Anyway, becuase I am the weirdest person when it comes to being inspired to write it should come to no surprise that my obsessing over my fic that I became inspired into writing a Johnny POV song. I just think it would be hilarious if Johnny fell so madly in love with Walt that even being psychic he 'didn't see it coming' - come on, how can that not be funny? It's very conventional but I don't care (I think it's cute). If you wanted to - you could also read it as a Walt POV song as well.

Dedicated toladylarabee because feedback is love.
See This coming

I just see your face and I stop breathing
I die inside when I know you're leaving
And I dream every night of your touch
Oh, when did this start to hurt so much?

And, how did I not see this coming?
When you just call and I come running
Oh, when did you become the one I live for, die for
But I want more

More of your laugh, your lips, your easy smile
To forget the world and to just stay a while
(More of) your heart, your strength, your every tear
Oh, what I would give to just have you here - with me

But I must have gone insane
'Cause I can't risk this heart again
With everything she put me through
I'm not sure I'm up to loving you

And, how did I not see this coming?
When you just call and I come running
Oh, when did you become the one I live for, die for
But I want more

More of your laugh, your lips, your easy smile
To forget the world and to just stay a while
(More of) your heart, your strength, your every tear
Oh, what I would give to just have you here - with me

I hate myself for how much I need this
For just how much how much I yearn for your kiss
But if you'll never never know
Then why can't I let this go?

And, how did I not see this coming?
When you just call and I come running
Oh, when did you become the one I live for, die for
But I want more

More of your laugh, your lips, your easy smile
To forget the world and to just stay a while
(More of) your heart, your strength, your every tear
Oh, what I would give to just have you here - with me

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