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Purple Moth Wings

Poem - I Have Something To Hide

I have something to hide
            something to hide from
Have I become part of my own secrets?
When did everything change?
                        to become this? to become evrything and nothing?
Why did it take so long to notice?

I have lost myself in my own shadows
Searching for the way out, for the light
lost in my own dark pleasure, my own misery
I cannot help but feel

Why does this pain feel so good?
       So real, so alive
So powerful

Maybe I have forgotten how to really feel
Maybe this pain is all I have left
The last remnant of what once was
                                of what could have been

Do I surrender to this?
    Or have I surrendered already?